We are the Copy Room Small Group because of the 90% chance that our small group will get interrupted by someone needing to use the copy machine in our room.
But whether it be a Korean College Student or an old man whose head is unnaturally shiny, we bond through the talks and laughs we share as a body of Christ.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

fully known, fully accepted and fully loved

In the last 2 weeks, I kept coming to our blog to create a new post, but I couldn't think of anything to write, so I would just delete it.
For about a month now, I've been really struggling with a sense of unworthiness. There's something I've been dealing with that made me feel so... distant from God. And not only distant, but I felt like there was a barrier between us. Part of me wanted to come back, and another part of me didn't want to come back, because I knew I could not do so without a repentant heart, without TRULY being committed to change.


psalm 16
"I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.'" (verse 2)

--> this reminded me that as a sinful human, there is nothing intrinsically valuable in me. The reason I've been feeling unworthy is because I AM. I just forgot about how automatic sin is, because I was so consumed by it that I became blind to it. And when my eyes were opened a little bit and I was able to see just one part of my sin, I was overwhelmingly reminded of who I am, in comparison to who God is.

Even though this past month has been difficult, and the struggle is still ongoing, I'm glad for this reminder. I'm trying to meditate on the fact that God loves me still, unconditionally, even though I feel like I deserve it less. But that's the point, huh? No one deserves any of it at all (Romans 3:10)

But God knows me completely, he knows everything about me (Psalm 139:1-4, 13-16). And the fact that he still redeemed me in spite of all my flaws and hopelessness means that he accepts everything about me.

"Being fully known, we are fully accepted and fully loved."


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3 comments:

  1. Michelle C:May 19, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    ;' ) thank you for reminding me as well that its okay that I'm unworthy.. because, like you said, we all are on our own.. and it's not about our own value, but about the value we have as God's children, and how God shows us mercy and grace despite our weaknesses. This was really encouraging and relevant to my life btw, i love and appreciate you lauren! <3

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  2. Lauren KimmyMay 19, 2011 at 4:02 PM

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  3. AnonymousMay 20, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    I think couple days ago I was struggling with something like this too. I felt like I was living a very dull sinful lifestyle and at one point I had to just start praying and repenting to God. Like you said, it made me also realize that God will always love us as long as we are willing to accept Him into our lives.

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