wasting time

So it's been summer for a couple weeks now, and I'm currently living at school. The pace is a lot slower than during the school year, and it's strange to me to have so much free time, or at least, not feel rushed all the time to get stuff done.

I think this past week especially, I've been learning to enjoy time just spent chillin' with God. I spend time just hanging out with other friends, but for some reason I always felt like time with God had to be like studying a passage or listening to a sermon or meditating on a verse or praying.

But today after class, I came back to my suite after class and just got some food out for lunch. I didn't want to waste the time just sitting here eating, so I also got out a book, to fill up the free time, you know? be efficient! haha but on an impulse i decided to just sit here by myself and eat, and just have a conversation with god, like i would with any other friend i was eating lunch with.

it's weird, cause the conversation was all in my head, and i still have loads of trouble figuring out sometimes if it's myself talking to myself or if it's god talking to me... but either way, it was a good conversation! I feel like it's really hard for me to just value time spent without an agenda, especially during the school year, but we were made for relationship! that's our whole purpose in life... and keeping myself busy all the time just prevents me from doing just that. so yeah! bottom line... today i learned that it's okay to not be doing anything :)