I ran into a brick wall but it was good.

John 15:9-11

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. l Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

These two verses went hand in hand while I was doing my QT today. These past few weeks have been very disruptive and chaotic for me. For a long period of time I was very deceitful and dishonest to my parents about a lot of things. I loved them very much but for my own convenience, since couple years ago I started to make excuses and lies to avoid any unnecessary conflicts with them. Eventually, the somewhat intimate relationship I had with my parents suddenly became broken and distant. Finally, I had to confront my fears or more like I had no other places to run. 

Out of all this I realized God and my parents wanted me to face my problems and not hide from them. I needed to “obey his commands” and really be filled with his love. Instead of letting my fears control how I think, if I let myself be filled with God’s’ love I won’t have to lie or make excuses to get out of a conflict.  I need to stop being so anxious and really seek strength in God who will ultimately give me peace in my mind. It's hard to go into detail about what happened but I'm really glad it happened. At least now I can start a fresh relationship with my parents and also, myself. I hope I don't overlook this event and really learn from this and grow. AMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. wow it is so hot right now.